It’s 2019 and if you are like the majority of people, you likely have made some New Year resolutions. They can be anything ranging from losing weight, saving money, give up a certain food / drink, to something bigger like finding a new job or buying a house.
The sad news is the vast majority of people who make New Year’s resolutions will give up. It is very easy to say we will do something because we automatically feel better about ourselves; however, it is a totally different story when it comes to actually do something different. Year after year, the stats support this:
- By January 31st one out of every three will have given up
- By June, more than one out of every two will have given up.
If you are making a new year’s resolution and want to MAKE this your best year to date, please reflect on the below and remember one key bit of information – according to the European Journal of Social Psychology, it can take up to 66 days for our body and brain to form new habits and for them to become part of our new “normal” routine.
DREAMS / GOALS
The first step on your journey should be to sit alone in a room and write down clear and defined goals. If you have more than two, you will then need to prioritize them. As you reflect on your list, you need to be very honest with yourself and ask yourself how badly do you want to achieve them? Are you desperate to achieve them (e.g. fit into a wedding dress) or would it be nice to achieve them (e.g. have some savings)? PLEASE DO NOT LIE TO YOURSELF!!!
We live in a world of instant gratification, where we are always searching for shortcuts. We want other people to do the work for us, we want to be able to take a pill to lose weight and we want someone else to be responsible for our lives and decisions. To achieve your goals and MAKE this your best year to date, the time for dreaming / wishing and hoping must stop and the time for hard work must start.
Einstein once said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If you want to really make this your year, then do something you have never done and be prepared to take some risks and also upset some people. This will not happen without sacrifice. Yes, I said SACRIFICE!!!
To MAKE this your year, you will need to sacrifice some aspect of your life. It may be watching less Netflix, less time sleeping, less time with family and friends, less leisure time or reducing your in-take of tasty food like burgers, pizzas, and pasta. This is hard (trust me I know) but you must make sacrifices to achieve your goal.
If you find this exceptionally hard for you, try changing your focus. Do not think about the things you are sacrificing, but instead focus entirely on the future you and the emotions you will feel when you achieve your goal – a fitter, stronger, better looking, promoted at work you.
It is so important you understand your motives for wanting to improve. Sometimes our motives can be considered childish or you are embarrassed to share them with others. If something motivates you, USE IT and forget about what other people think.
I am a prime example of this – I have been on a journey for a while now to get lose weight and get better looking. Want to know my motivation? Firstly I want to find a wife to spend my life with, and secondly, I would like to be able to see myself in pictures and videos and not gag at how bad I look. That may seem funny to some but it motivates me and it works.
Anytime I am tired or start making the endless list of excuses of why I cannot work out, I simply think of how I will feel when I achieve my dream.
Think of someone you admire in life – Did they quit when they were tired? Did they give up on the days they wanted to rest or do something with friends? Or did they ignore those feelings and continue working on their goals?
SETBACKS / DISAPPOINTMENTS
This one is critical – MAKE it your year by being ready for setbacks and disappointments. When we dream and start our journey towards improvement, it’s easy to think everything will be great, things will go smoothly and we will achieve our goals. The reality can be a lot different.
Life for everyone is filled with pain, setbacks, disappointments, failures and even defeats. Life (and people in society) love to tell you can’t achieve something, laugh at you when you fail and do everything they can to convince your goals and dreams are unrealistic. IGNORE THEM!!!
When you hit your setback, I want you to smile and be HAPPY because this is a fantastic opportunity to grow as a person. I believe setbacks are life’s way of testing you to see exactly how badly you want to achieve your goal and to see if you are willing to do anything to make it a reality. Is this goal really worth the pain, the tears, and the sacrifices? Are you going to overcome this hurdle and power on, or will you admit defeat and give up. Society wants you to give up and sadly a lot of people have.
At some point, most individuals have dreams but look around today and think of the following 4 people:
- The person who tried to do something hit a setback and quit
- The person who failed and is defined by their failures and tells others they can’t
- The person who failed and got bitter about life and believes someone screwed them
- The person who failed, and used that to motivate them to achieve their dreams
Which person are you going to be?
I would ask you again to think of that person you admire today – do you think they became successful without setbacks and failures? Or do you think they used them as an opportunity to grow and become more determined to chase their dream?
Note: If you have never had setbacks, your dreams were not big enough because life does not operate that way for anyone.
When you are on this journey, it is so important to surround yourself with positive people. You need people to ride with you on the journey, help motivate you on bad days, make you smile / laugh, won’t laugh at your motivations and be there to console you when you suffer a setback.
Life and social media have unlimited potential for good but it is filled with negative people who love to insult you and bring you down to their level. They are jealous that you are working on your life and improving while they stay the same – it is easier to tear you down, instead of working on improving their lives.
The saddest part of this world is understanding some of your family and siblings may be your biggest detractors. At times they can be the worst people to be around because their words can hold more weight than strangers. If your family knock you, make you feel bad / guilty or tell you that you cannot do something, ignore them because they are just upset at you for disrupting the order of your family.
I want you to visualize your goal right now and ask yourself one simple question:
- Why can you not achieve your goal?
- Are those reasons valid or just simply in your head?
I believe everyone is made in God’s image, that regardless of their age, race, gender, sexuality, lifestyle or even voting record, they have a purpose on this world and they have unlimited potential inside them. I don’t know who is reading this, I don’t know any details about you, but I do know one thing – You have greatness inside of you and many unique talents.
I also believe that your dreams were promptings given to you. I do not believe your brain come up with your dream just for fun – just to show you an image of a future you that you cannot achieve. Whether you believe in faith, a higher power or even just your own conscious, I believe those dreams are encouraging you to show you what is possible if you are willing to put in the hard work.
The last point to MAKING this your year is never EVER give up. Giving up is the easiest thing to do and you can slide back into your normal old routine. However, there was a reason you sought change in the first place. Keep working on you and whatever your dream is, MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!